So a canoe? Has seats?
So you make a canoe with removable/fold-down-able seats, and short posts sticking up at the front and back points of the canoe.

And then you paddle out to the middle of the lake, fold the seats down, and on the short posts you suspend… a HAMMOCK!

It hangs safely down inside the canoe, so tippage danger is minimalized. Getting in and out is tricky, maybe, but it’s tricky to get in and out of a canoe – or a hammock – anyway, so whatever. Hamock-canoe!!! This is a genius idea.

ETA:  New genius ideas, from Mike:

-  chainmail coasters for the coffee table

– a (small) 4-drawer filing cabinet designed to organize a deck of playing cards

Yeah, we have the same brain…