Replacing old window-screens is stupidly easy.  You don’t even have to measure.  Or cut straight!

Here is how you do it.

Buy these things at Lowes:

A roll or two of window screen (about $6).  One roll will do about 3 windows, or a window and a porch-door.

A bag of mixed-sizes black rubber cord stuff that looks like strings of licorice.  Get the bag with all three sizes because you don’t really know which size you need.  (about $6)

A cheap rolling thing for rolling the black licorice-cord. Don’t get a fancy one; get a cheap one.  ($2)

Things you already have at home:

A utility knife – scissors work, but a utility knife works better

Some old carboard

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First, pop out the frames with the old nasty screens.  With some wiggling, they should come right out.

Second, rip out the old black cord and throw it away.

Pull off the old screen and throw it away too, unless you are determined to use it for something crafty.

Third, lay the frame on the cardboard (so you don’t scratch up your table).  Lay new screen over the frame, and cut it with the utility knife so it’s got a nice wide margin around all sides.

Fourth:  Stick some licorice-cord into the groove in the frame, holding down the new screen, and press it in with the roller.  Go all the way around the frame.

Fifth:  Trim off the extra cord and extra bits of screen with the utility knife.

Finally:  Wiggle the frame back into the window.  That’s actually the hardest part.

Ta Da!  If anybody needs their screens replaced, call me up.  I’ll come over and do it for you.

On the other hand, I had to hire a guy to come and replace some stacked-up pieces of railroad lumber with stacked-up cement blocks. (This is holding up my rain barrel…)  Why I couldn’t just go buy cement blocks and stack ’em myself?      BECAUSE.    That’s why.